5 Tips For A Better Communication Using Mercury Retrograde

10 08 2010

© August 2010 by Fabienne Lopez

Mercury retrogradeMercury Retrograde in Virgo: Reviewing our Communication Patterns

Mercury retrogrades 3 or 4 times a year. The third Mercury retrograde will happen in Virgo (8/20/2010 to 9/12/2010). Combining Mercury (communication, thought) with the qualities of Virgo (precision, logical, quick, practical and common sense) and you have a recipe on learning how to communicate with less static in our daily communications. A good usage of Mercury retrograde in a Virgo period.

Communication skills are something we are always emphasizing in our workplace, resumes, daily life etc… But how many of us are really capable of effective communication? How many of us know how to communicate in a way that conveys the message clearly?

The Emotional Cost of Miscommunication

At the same time, we complain about being misinterpreted and misunderstood. Ineffective communication skills can cause havoc and impact the quality of our life. The book by John Gray, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, illustrated the difficulties and the cost both genders encounter because of poor communications in the increase of conflicts, misunderstanding, hurt and resentment. No wonder communication skills are so valued. So much can be lost in translation—the coding and encoding that is done between sender and receiver. Yet, our ability to effectively translate and to clearly convey our intention and message is extremely important in our daily life. It is this combination of both clearly conveying and accurately receiving that makes up effective communication.

Inspired by the upcoming Mercury Retrograde in Virgo, here are 5 tips to improve communication

Read the rest of this entry »


Family Constellations: The Song of Saturn

13 07 2010

©July 2010 by Fabienne Lopez

Family Constellation

I have recently become very interested in family constellations work. Family constellations are an intense group process developed by the German psychologist-philosopher Bert Hellinger that aim to release and resolve profound tensions within and between family members.  Hellinger noticed in his therapeutic work that that one member of a family is unconsciously “following” another member. That is, the fate of one member has become entangled in the fate of another. Often it is the younger ones who unconsciously and out of love, take on the unresolved burdens or fates of those who came before. For example, a child may take on the illness of an aunt who was excluded from the family, or carry the depression and grief of a parent, or become entangled in the fate of a grandparent who suffered a “secret” misfortune and died young. One member of a family is “following” another by sharing their fate — out of a deep and unconscious bond of loyalty and love. But this “blind love,” or unconscious following, solves nothing, only adding complexity and tragedy to the family line. It often leads to repeated problems that seems unsolvable: bad relationships, debt problems, health issues…

Read the rest of this entry »

Top 5 Websites to Fuel Your Spirit or Your Soul

17 06 2010

© June 2010 by Fabienne Lopez

One of the goals of Astrology Unboxed is to support your personal growth, facilitate your development, spark your imagination and fuel your spirit.

To that end I have gathered together my favorite free or low fee resources on the web. My top websites are not necessarily astrology related, but they have tools that help me grow, make me think, get me unstuck and in generally kept me moving.  Those website are good food for the soul!

At the time of publishing, all the links are accurate. But things can change. If you have trouble with any of them, try googling the resource.

Read the rest of this entry »

Metaphors as healing tool

17 10 2009

As a person who is multi-lingual, I like to contrast and compare metaphors in different languages. This process has allowed me to better understand cultural differences, which in turn helps me navigate the existing cultural differences in my relationships.

I’m defining metaphors as a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them.

As a writer, what is interesting to me is how easily metaphors can help you organize your writing, making it more clear, clean and concise. As an astrologer, when I’m with my clients, I notice how a few choice metaphors can act as the glue that binds the entire communication into a satisfying process.

When we do not want to be confronted with uncomfortable truths, a good metaphor can sneakily slip through our defenses and mobilize our senses in the most vivid way, creating understanding in a flash of light.

In my life, the metaphors I have used have helped me look at my feelings and circumstances. I’ve used metaphor as a personal management tool to fix, repair and above all heal myself. My life coach, Helen, came up with this metaphor about “Mind Penguins” to explain the negative thoughts that are constantly swirling around in your mind. Penguins are those creatures in your head that are there to protect you. They are very loyal, stubborn, relentless, hard working penguins. Unfortunately, some of them were put in there years ago, and haven’t had their job-descriptions updated. This metaphor has helped me deal with repetitive thought patterns that prevented me from getting out of my comfort zone and experiment with blogging, for example.

The metaphors I create help me express a myriad of emotions without fear of retribution. By expressing those feelings and circumstances through metaphor, I can confront them, play act and wash them away. A metaphor can be compared to a bridge that helps you cross over and start a new journey. When I was giving my first public speech, anxiety plagued me. It felt like hot caramel was churning inside me. By “cooking” the candy all the way up to a soft ball stage, I was able to finish my presentation in a much more relaxed mood.

In my practice as an astrologer, it is always fascinating to watch clients spontaneously come up with a metaphor that totally encapsulates their personal planetary combination. On seeing her chart for the first time, a client with a stellium of planets in Scorpio said, “That’s a lot of kilowatts in that part of the sky!”

Another client, a triple Pisces, said, “I never know if I am coming or going. I feel I am always waiting for the fog to lift off.” That described her chart well!

Many times metaphors help the message slip through the defenses of a client who does not want to confront a difficult transit. A choice metaphor states clearly the story I want to tell and helps me proactively help the client relate to change. A divorced client was having a difficult transit over his 7th house of relationships and was reluctant to face up to the reality of his position. A metaphor, borrowed from astrologer Adrian Duncan Ross, served to illustrate how he could best handle the transit.

Here’s the story I told him: Do you know that feeling of having left a cheese at the back of the fridge? Months have gone by. One day you see a dark object and you reach in to remove it, whatever it is. As your fingers sink into the soft and furry exterior, you begin to wonder, “What’s that?” When the stink hits your nostrils, you remember the cheese. Now here is the question. Should you put the cheese back and hope it will go away? Or do you have to take it out – take everything out – and give the fridge a thorough cleaning to remove all the fungus spores?

I do not know the outcome, but I am pretty sure he hasn’t forgotten the cheese metaphor.

Metaphors are a huge part of our daily life, so much so that we may not even be aware of them anymore. But metaphors are as common as the oxygen we breathe.

I would love to hear some of your metaphors. What are the most common ones you use in your work or your personal life?